March 10 was the earth day of my younger brother, James. Hard to believe it, though I know we're just two years apart, but he's 43 years old now. Over the past decade, I've made a commitment to recognizing family members' earth days by calling them & communicating with them. Of course, I get frustrated with myself when I forget one person & end up not calling anybody for the whole year. OK. I got issues. And?
I used to be mad at James because he didn't call me. Every time we ended our periodic conversation I'd say, "don't be a stranger." He'd mumble something about making a better effort to call me. Months would go by & no phone call. I felt hurt, neglected, unimportant. Perhaps my expectations are not realistic, given he has a wife & three sons. But I love my younger brother & miss his presence. I haven't seen him since Clinton was in office.
Anyway, since I'm purposely making this a short entry, we had a wonderful conversation. Maybe I'll get a cance to see him before he goes off to South Korea in December. Money is a barrier for me. I invited him to NYC many times,alas, to no avail. I trust we will reunite, as it were, sooner than later. I've always looked to my brother for strength & guidance. His emotional stability is attractive, inspiring & valued.
i am
- mark j. tuggle
- harlem, usa
- spiritual being trying 2 master the hue-man experience. contemporary descendant of enslaved africans. same gender-loving brotha. critical thinker. culturally affirming. self-determining. value autonomy, intelligence & kindness. seek 2 connect with like-minded folk. high tolerance 4 pain. low tolerance 4 bullshit. love is my religion. god-centered. peaceful heart. wounded soul. compromising my integrity 4 a feeling hurts. terrified & thrilled of the unknown. complex, passionate & vulnerable. loving the skin i'm in. more than my pain.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
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