today i completed a five day fast. my diet for the last five days consisted solely of fruits, organic juices, organic nuts & water. also, meditation, prayer & rest were prominent in my ongoing quarterly spiritual practice. as a result i feel calm, peaceful & serene.
i started fasting well over a decade ago. my innate curiosity led me to try something i thought could benefit my health. i did not envision fasting as a way of life. i thought it was something i would do once, twice, maybe three times. nothing more, nothing less.
the first time i tried to fast i didn't know what i was doing. my ego, false pride & image would not allow me to ask for help. i heard through the grapevine fasting for three days would be a safe way to start. i didn't know anything about preparing for the fast and/or breaking the fast.
i remember someone telling me the first meal of the day is called breakfast for spiritual purposes. i recall him saying we sleep (meaning rest) before we eat breakfast & rest is an important part of fasting. i'd never thought of this & felt excited about learning something new & potentially valuable.
still, i neglected to ask my friend for guidance in this new venture. i live with a compromised immune system. yet, it didn't occur to consult my primary care physician about fasting. in some ways i was doing this secretively because i wanted the satisfaction of being right.
i always felt ashamed of my body. i was a skinny kid with a funny last name - just like obama. i never learned how to cook for myself. when the females in my family told me to get out of the kitchen i complied with relief. moreover, healthy eating was not part of our family practice. at all.
my basic four food groups were grease, sugar, pork & chocolate. more was never enough. i thought food would make me socially acceptable. i was wrong. i became addicted to fast food. fast food is slow suicide. these old, useless patterns damaged my emotional, physical & spiritual well-being. i realized something had to give.
i thought fasting would solve my unresolved issues with food. although i don't look like it, i have a weight problem...i can't wait to eat. i eat when i feel angry, bored, depressed, lonely, sad, etc. certain foods give me a false sense of comfort. i needed new coping skills & unbeknowst to me, fasting would become my salvation.
instead of eating meat at night, i indulged in popcorn, potato chips, pretzels & trail mix. don't ask why. at the time, it seemed better than kfc, mcdonald's or white castle. i didn't tell anyone what i was doing. after three days of this i rewarded myself with popeye's chicken. don't asky why.
popeye's had me calling ralph in the bathroom. i got sick. pain has a unique way of getting your attention, unless you continue to stay in denial. ashamed, embarrassed & frustrated i took a risk & asked someone for help. a woman at the health food store gave me some simple suggestions. an associate of mine loaned me his book on spiritual waste. i had a series of colonics for the first time.
i fasted for three days, seven days, ten days & once, during a hot summer, 14 days. although it was not my intention i lost 30 pounds in 14 days. i went from 200 pounds to 170 pounds; not like luther, but the weight loss was noticeable. over a period of time i decided to fast every 90 days.
five day fasts build self-discipline, improve my conscious contact with god & reaffirm a passionate desire for self-love. i try to avoid stressful people & toxic situations. i welcome the opportunity to serve my wounded temple. most importantly, i feel good about myself because i'm invested in the liberation of my body, mind & spirit.
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