I successfully completed a ten day fast, effective Sunday, July 10 at 12:01 a.m. I'm proud of myself for honoring the commitment I made to myself. I feel good about this accomplishment. At the moment, I feel calm & serene & tranquil. Yesterday afternoon - an absolutely gorgeous day - I went to a natural food store in Harlem to purchase items for my traditional 12 noon salad: lettuce, bananas, carrots, cucumbers, green peppers, & organic honey mustard dressing. I will add croutons & cashews to the mix & go to town, baby - yes!
You see, I have a weight problem: I can't wait to eat (smile).
I also decided to break the fast by continuing to drink fruit juices & water. I bought some fish cakes, tuna salad & vegetables to eat during the first week. I'm committed to no fast foods for a few weeks (at least for the rest of the month) no matter what (not even Popeye's Chicken). One of the lessons learned when I fast is discipline. I remember blaming my father as an adult for the lack of discipline in my life.
Taking responsibility for my emotional, physical & spiritual well-being is essential to healthy living. I feel good about myself when I act in a loving, kind & compassionate manner towards myself. The road from self-destruction to self-determination has been frought w/ plenty of bumps & bruises. My emerging resilliency is stronger than I thought.
Walking down the aisles of the various health food stores in Harlem this past week, I began to ask myself some questions: why can't I eat like this on a regular basis? why do I eat unhealthy food? what will it take for me to discipline myself more often? why do I make excuses for poor food choices? The answers to these & other such questions will come one day at a time. The journey teaches me to be gentle. I don't have to engage in emotional homicide anymore.
As Deepak Chopra says: "the path to God is through constant self-awareness."
- mark j. tuggle
- harlem, usa
- same-gender-loving contemporary descendant of enslaved africans. community activist, feminist, health educator, independent filmmaker, mentor, playwright, poet & spiritual being. featured at, in & on africana.com, afrikan poetry theatre, angel herald, bejata dot com, bet tonight with tavis smiley, blacklight online, black noir, brooklyn moon cafe, gmhc's barbershop, klmo-fm, lgbt community services center, longmoor productions, nuyorican poets cafe, our corner, poz, pulse, rolling out new york, rush arts gallery, saint veronica's church, schomburg center for research in black culture, sexplorations, the citizen, the new york times, the soundz bar, the trenton times, the village voice, upn news, uzuri, venus, vibe, wbai-fm, wnyc-fm & wqht-fm. volunteered with adodi, bailey house, inc., black men's xchange-new york, colorofchange.org, drug policy alliance, east harlem tutorial program, imagenation film & music festival, presente.org, save darfur coalition, the enough project, the osborne association, the sledge group & your black world. worked on films with maurice jamal & heather murphy. writing student of phil bertelsen & ed bullins. firstname.lastname@example.org.