last wednesday morning i had a colonoscopy. first time. the procedure was unpleasant yet worthwhile. they were supposed to anesthetize me - but didn't. or, should i just say, whatever local medication they injected me with refused to do the job. i felt the black snake inside me. my stomach was in knots. i wanted to ask my male doctor, "before you hit it, can we get to know each other better? how about dinner & a movie? a little foreplay..."
so i'm making light of a dark situation. but that's who i be.
the preparation was horrible. tuesday, i had to drink a gallon of water mixed with a chemical which has too many syllables to pronounce, much less remember. every 15 minutes i had to drink a glass of this stuff, which kinda tasted like salt & alka seltzer. my doctor told me it would taste like gatorade. she lied. that shit was nasty. p-funk. the bomb.
after a couple of hours my head started to spin. my equilibrium was unbalanced. my stomach was nauseated. i began to vomit as i sat on the toilet releasing liquid waste. i felt like linda blair. unplugged. i called a female friend who has more health issues than myself. she assured me the drink was the hard part & everything else would be was a piece of cake. uh, okay, i guess.
around 10 pm i began to experience slight emotional relief. i called another friend. a guy. why? because i value balance in my relationships. we laughed at the absurdity of it all. his compassion was comforting. other friends, diverse men & women, told me what to expect before the procedure. i appreciate their support, primarily because it came from their personal experience with having a colonoscopy themselves. some more than one.
more than once? oh mah goodness....
to my delight & surprise, i woke up spiritually refreshed wednesday morning. in fact, i was pleased at how i felt before undergoing the unknown. but i serve a loving god. his wisdom is infinitely better than my own. as such, i was unafraid of the outcome. they told me i had some internal hemorrhoids. most importantly, no cancer was found! i don't have to do another colonoscopy in 7-10 years.
in the immortal words of madea, "ha-le-loo-yer."
- mark j. tuggle
- harlem, usa
- same-gender-loving contemporary descendant of enslaved africans. community activist, feminist, health educator, independent filmmaker, mentor, playwright, poet & spiritual being. featured at, in & on africana.com, afrikan poetry theatre, angel herald, bejata dot com, bet tonight with tavis smiley, blacklight online, black noir, brooklyn moon cafe, gmhc's barbershop, klmo-fm, lgbt community services center, longmoor productions, nuyorican poets cafe, our corner, poz, pulse, rolling out new york, rush arts gallery, saint veronica's church, schomburg center for research in black culture, sexplorations, the citizen, the new york times, the soundz bar, the trenton times, the village voice, upn news, uzuri, venus, vibe, wbai-fm, wnyc-fm & wqht-fm. volunteered with adodi, bailey house, inc., black men's xchange-new york, colorofchange.org, drug policy alliance, east harlem tutorial program, imagenation film & music festival, presente.org, save darfur coalition, the enough project, the osborne association, the sledge group & your black world. worked on films with maurice jamal & heather murphy. writing student of phil bertelsen & ed bullins. firstname.lastname@example.org.